Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Legacy in DID

In today’s society, with all the raunchy stuff that’s in the media and entertainment, taking a hard look at what we’re doing to our children is WAY overdue. Probably most people on this site know firsthand how society’s lusts have ruined lives. I want to talk about childhood sex abuse (CSA). It would be a rare person with DID who didn’t have CSA as part of their past. Obviously, in satanic ritual abuse (SRA)  CSA is 100%. So let’s talk about it:

What is CSA?

What are the statistics on CSA?

Who are the victims and who are the perpetrators?

What are some of the long-term effects for the victims?

What are some of the biological consequences?

What about in SRA?

Is this related to BDSM (Bondage, Dominance/Submission, and Sadomasochism)?

What can we do about CSA?

What can Christians do?


What is CSA?

Probably the majority of DID survivors have a history of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). It is true that not all CSA survivors develop a dissociative disorder, nor are all DID survivors the consequence of CSA. Nonetheless, CSA is extremely common in this population, whether male or female. Government agencies and researches define CSA in a number of ways. CSA includes behavior between a child and an older person that is meant to arouse the older person in a sexual way. States vary regarding the age of the older person. Older children are often involved. CSA can involve body contact such as inappropriate touching, sexual kissing, and oral, anal or vaginal sex. But it can also involve the display of sexual body parts, viewing pornography with a child, pressuring the child to participate in sex, or exploiting the child for prostitution and/or pornography. There is a great deal of information regarding the laws re CSA online.


What are the statistics on CSA?

Because of the heterogeneity in definitions, statistics on CSA are approximate. Nearly everyone agrees that it is significantly under reported. Children are often shamed or threatened into silence. One only has to remember the huge CSA scandals of the recent past to observe that many victims don’t come forward until adulthood. Getting a handle on the incidence and prevalence of CSA is difficult. Below are some statistics from Victims of Crime .

“The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Children’s Bureau report Child Maltreatment 2010 found that 9.2% of victimized children were sexually assaulted. Studies by David Finkelhor, Director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center, show that  1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse; self-report studies show that 20% of adult females and 5-10% of adult males recall a childhood sexual assault or sexual abuse incident.

During a one-year period in the U.S., 16% of youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized; Over the course of their lifetime, 28% of U.S. youth ages 14 to 17 had been sexually victimized; Children are most vulnerable to CSA between the ages of 7 and 13.”


Who are the victims and who are the perpetrators?

“According to a 2003 National Institute of Justice report, 3 out of 4 adolescents who have been sexually assaulted were victimized by someone they knew well. A Bureau of Justice Statistics report shows 1.6 % (sixteen out of one thousand) of children between the ages of 12-17 were victims of rape/sexual assault.

A study conducted in 1986 found that 63% of women who had suffered sexual abuse by a family member also reported a rape or attempted rape after the age of 14. Recent studies in 2000, 2002, and 2005 have all concluded similar results. Children who had an experience of rape or attempted rape in their adolescent years were 13.7 times more likely to experience rape or attempted rape in their first year of college.” (I don’t know exactly why this is, but my experience verifies this. I was raped in college. I could speculate all day on this. It would be great to have some discussion. Anyone here who has had this experience, please put your thoughts in the Comments section, below.)


What are some of the long-term effects for the victims?

This report goes on to describe some of the consequences of CSA to the victims. “A child who is the victim of prolonged sexual abuse usually develops low self-esteem, a feeling of worthlessness and an abnormal or distorted view of sex. The child may become withdrawn and mistrustful of adults, and can become suicidal. Children who do not live with both parents as well as children living in homes marked by parental divorce, or domestic violence, have a higher risk of being sexually abused. In the vast majority of cases where there is credible evidence that a child has been penetrated, only between 5 and 15% of those children will have genital injuries consistent with sexual abuse.”…….”Compared to those with no history of sexual abuse, young males who were sexually abused were five times more likely to cause teen pregnancy, three times more likely to have multiple sexual partners and two times more likely to have unprotected sex.

Wow. It’s common and it seriously messes up the lives of those involved. So, “if you’re an adult who experienced sexual abuse as a child, know that you are not alone. Every eight minutes, a child is sexually assaulted in the U.S., and 93 percent know the perpetrator. Many perpetrators of sexual abuse are in a position of trust or responsible for the child’s care, such as a family member, teacher, clergy member, or coach.”  This is a topic on which all  adults should be educated.

If you’re a victim, I don’t have to tell you about the long-term consequences. You’re probably still living some of them. I like the list I found here.

“Long-Term Effects


Aggressive behaviors



Avoidance of sexual intimacy



Attempted suicide

Drug or alcohol abuse


School problems

Running away





Lowered self-esteem

Feels different from others





Confusion about sexual norms

Confusion about sexual identity

Confusion about sex with caring

Aversion to sexual intimacy

Lack of trust

Feels powerless

Believes the world is not a safe place

Need to control

Long term effects are after a year of being abused and without intervention.  As you notice the list is longer as the victim has more time to believe that they are to blame, and they are becoming confused by the continued boundary violations.  A victim may engage in sex (promiscuity or prostitution) as they may believe that they have power over who they chose to have sex with.  A person may become fearful of being seen in a sexual manner and therefore they put on weight, wear loose fitting clothes, and do not take care of their hair.” (Yes – way overweight. Love baggy tunics. Haven’t cut my hair in well over 20 years.)

Another site  says that “Childhood sexual abuse has been correlated with higher levels of depression, guilt, shame, self-blame, eating disorders, somatic concerns, anxiety, dissociative patterns, repression, denial, sexual problems, and relationship problems.” (Does anyone else here feel like maybe they are the poster child for this?????)

I found another interesting article  reporting on a longitudinal study of a racially diverse group of 80 girls from age 6-16. The study began in 1987 and followed these girls for the next 23 years. All the girls were victims of incest (sexual abuse by a male living in the home), and were abused an average of 2 years before coming to the attention of child protective services. Some were abused as early as 2 years old. They found that these girls had “higher rates of depression and obesity, as well as problems with regulation of brain chemicals, among other issues, compared to a control group of girls who were not abused.” ….. “Compared to a non-abused control group, the researchers found the study participants, all of whom were provided three therapy sessions on average in group and individual settings, suffered severe effects during different stages of their lives, which affected their sexual and cognitive development, mental and physical health, as well as their brain chemical profile. Study participants were more likely to be sexually active at younger ages, have lower educational status, and have more mental health problems.”


What are some of the biological consequences?

What most people don’t understand is that CSA is associated with serious long-term health consequences. In this same study these investigators discovered that, “As children, they had higher levels of cortisol, the so-called ‘stress hormone,’ which is released in high levels during the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response. But by about age 15, testing showed that cortisol levels were below normal, compared to the control group. Lower levels of cortisol have been linked to a decrease in the body’s ability to deal with stress, as well as problems with depression and obesity. Lower levels of the hormone have also been linked to post-traumatic stress disorder. ‘The cortisol levels (of some study participants) wound up looking like Vietnam vets,’ says study co-author Dr. Frank Putnam, professor of pediatrics and psychiatry at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. ‘That tells us they are in a chronic state of stress, and never feel safe.’ During the last assessment, when study participants were in their 20s, their cortisol levels remained lower than the control group, on average. ‘That tells us their stress response system is burned out,’ says Putman, ‘which could explain why some are doing so poorly in life.’ The long-term effects of the abuse ‘were absolutely profound,’ says lead author and child psychologist Penelope Trickett, USC professor of Social Work. ‘It’s just not mental health issues. Some of these women are suffering from a lot of problems today like sleep issues, poor health utilization, and have a lot of risky behaviors. It’s very disturbing.’”

The CDC reports that, “Children who experience abuse and neglect are also at increased risk for adverse health effects and certain chronic diseases as adults, including heart disease, cancer, chronic lung disease, liver disease, obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and high levels of C-reactive protein.”

It’s also possible that some of the long-term effects of CSA are related to changes in brain structure secondary to the abuse. In one study, “The aftermath of that trauma could be seen in their brain scans, whether or not the young adults had developed diagnosable disorders. Regardless of their mental health status, formerly maltreated youth showed reductions in volume of about 6% on average in two parts of the hippocampus, and 4% reductions in regions called the subiculum and presubiculum, compared with people who had not been abused.”

“Even among the most resilient survivors, the aftereffects of abuse may linger. Not only are such children at later risk for mental illness, but because of the way trauma affects the stress system, they are also more vulnerable to developing chronic diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke.”

In another oft sited study severe CSA led to thinned areas of the brain cortex in areas associated with the area of physical attack. This was often seen in parts of the brain that respond to the genitals. It is hypothesized that this could be associated with physiological problems in these areas.

The bottom line is that CSA leads to potentially life-long alterations in brain structure and function, hormonal imbalance, and a wide variety of physiological and psychological problems that start early in life.


What about in SRA?

All of that is serious enough, but the consequences of sexual torture, as is found in many cases of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA), can be even more devastating. There are no statistics on SRA, largely because many clinicians are unable to believe that such activities really exist. Given the horrific replication of satanic acts in movies and television, it’s rather ironic that many people can’t see that art replicates real life. For victims, not being taken seriously is yet another major psychological blow to an already fragile ego. Regardless of what is comprehended by the medical community, DID/SRA survivors fill counselors’ offices and psych wards all across the country.

As I think of my own experience in SRA and the stories of numerous other survivors, I find it difficult to separate sexual abuse from torture. Torture is defined as “the action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment or to force them to do or say something, or for the pleasure of the person inflicting the pain.” Note that this is all about pain, not sexual arousal. In sexual torture the victim is merely a body, a recipient of the sadistic pleasures of one or more others. In most cases, the more pain that is inflicted, the more aroused the perpetrator becomes.


Is this related to BDSM (Bondage, Dominance/Submission, and Sadomasochism)?

In some respects the activities in SRA can be seen to be a subset of BDSM (Bondage, Dominance/Submission, and Sadomasochism). One study reported that about 36% of adults in the USA participate in some form of BDSM. The few studies that have been done on its participants find no particular form of psychopathology. In theory the participants have control over all situations due to the use of “safe words” that indicate when events must stop. However, there are good reasons to think that these precautions may not be available when really needed, and participants can be seriously harmed.

Furthermore, the intensity of pain/ anxiety/ endorphin rush can lead to altered mental states that can further impair a participant.

Nonetheless, the writings of various kinky practitioners indicate that the “norm” is to be very conscious of the limits within a scene, keeping everyone safe and satisfied.

So why bring up BDSM in the context of CSA, especially as relates to SRA? Well, when one looks at what happens to children used in prostitution and pornography, the themes of pain, punishment, and torture – even near death – could come right out of a BDSM play book. And just as Satanists will claim vehemently that all sex is consensual, in fact we know that is hugely not true. Obviously, a child/ teen is not able to give clear, knowing consent…… psychologically or legally. Similarly, the BDSM community will declare that the torture given is by consent. But what does that open them up to? In the context of domination and submission, is there not an implicit evil? The point here is not to condemn all participants in BDSM, but to point out that in some cases, the only differences between the activities of BDSM and SRA are the consent of those tortured.

Our nation seems to be heavily invested now in a sexual culture of pain, humiliation, and shame. Pornography, especially child pornography is rampant. Sex trafficking is a huge billion-dollar business. While subjugation, shame, and torture are common elements of cult activity, sex is a predominant element in most rituals. The more painful, tortuous, and perverted the sex, the more the spiritual enrichment. Absolutely nothing that can be imagined (and lots that most can’t imagine) is off limits. As an SRA survivor, I look at sexual representations in entertainment and the rapid acceptance of sex as torture, sex as bestiality, sex as any form of dominance that’s “agreed to,” and I don’t have to wonder whether SRA will continue to grow in our society. While some members of satanic cults are dedicated to spiritual relationships and following the ultimate plans of evil for humanity, let’s face it, many are there for the benefits of sex and exploitation of others, esp. children.


What can we do about CSA?

Given the serious, long-term consequences of CSA discussed above, there needs to be a societal examination of how we can prevent such pervasive evil. One in five girls and one in twenty boys are sexually molested. This is a dreadful statistic. So where do we go from here?

Number 1 has to be education and exposure. I realize that most youth activities now require some sort of training on how to keep children safe. That’s a start. More importantly all adults need to be alert. Pedophiles are possibly someone you know and trust. Just as children are abused mostly by those they know, so those responsible for children also know the abuser. Who are common suspects? Dads, step-parents, older boys in a family, other male relatives, friends of the family, coaches, pastors……. Obviously, we don’t live with suspicion all the time, but awareness of what is happening to young children is essential. Learn the signs.

Number 2 has to be a willingness to help. Many children who are sexually abused in the home have no one to protect them. If a spouse is doing the abuse, it is rare for the other spouse to interfere. Sometimes they don’t know. Teachers, Sunday school teachers, day care employees, coaches, health care workers……. Everyone needs to be willing to step up and stop the abuse. Children have no resources but you. When my oldest son got married, a friend of my parents whom I’d not seen in years came to the wedding. She spoke with my sister about how she knew bad things were happening when she and I were very young. Well, you know what?????? Telling us now is a bit late. Could we have been spared decades of agony had one person called child protective services anonymously???????????

Number 3: if you’re a survivor, be a witness. You need to give your testimony. People can read facts all day and not get the importance of this topic. Be willing to talk to those you know. Talk to church groups. Write an editorial. If you’re a survivor, I’d be honored to have you give a testimony on this website. It can be anonymous. Just Contact Me.


What can Christians do?

Finally, if you’re a Christian, speak the truth. God created men and women as equals. He gave them sex as a gift for procreation. Co-laboring with God to beget children is a high calling. God designed us to live in purity and harmony. Our greatest happiness is in living in relationship with Him in purity. The Bible explains that keeping our minds focused on the good keeps us in peace. (Phil 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.) Keeping sex in the covenant of Biblical marriage, protects all parties involved. Jesus stands between a husband and wife and holds the relationship together. All other forms of sexuality are less than God’s best for us. We can never be fully satisfied until we’re in God’s perfect will. The do’s and don’ts are not to restrict but to protect and to allow the fullest expression of our sexual nature.

Why doesn’t much of the world understand this? Their eyes are blinded by Satan. True Joy and Freedom can only be found in relationship with God the Creator and Jesus His Son. If you’re a survivor and you don’t know Jesus, Contact Me. Read the page What is Ritual Abuse (RA) and Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). Living in relationship with Jesus causes radical transformation and incredible Joy. Healing from CSA and being delivered from the bondage that causes, can be fully accomplished only through Christ. Don’t settle for partial healing. Don’t settle for just being OK. Let Christ in, and He’ll transform all the dark places to pure light. He loves you more than you can know. Talk to Him. He’s always waiting to hear from you.

I’d love to hear from you, too. Please comment below.


February 2018
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