My Connection to Dissociative Identity Disorder,
Satanic Ritual Abuse, and Mind Control
I’m so glad you’re here. There may be many terms here that are new to you. Please see the Lexicon tab for definitions. I’m a Dissociative Identity Disorder/ Satanic Ritual Abuse/ Mind Control (DID/ SRA/ MC) survivor. Some of my past will be revealed in future posts, but for now I’ll share that I was born into a satanic cult post-WWII. I participated in satanic rituals, pornography, and prostitution. Because of who my parents were, I was used in government mind control experiments and missions starting in the early 1960s. My long-term programming was related to becoming a research and medical professional. Until about 10 years ago, I was a completely non-coconscious, polyfragmented multiple who worked 60-80 hours a week in an extremely high stress position. From the final, horrible, sudden unraveling 10 years ago to now, it’s been a long and arduous journey, which is not over. But there is now lots of light and lots of freedom, and how to get there is what I want to share.
On the surface I was an extremely high functioning professional, married, mother of three, and grandmother of one ( so far). Despite everything that’s happened, I’m still married, and my gracious husband gives support to other spouses on this same journey. No one, least of all us, knew that we were multiple. We discovered this in a most abrupt and catastrophic way, which may be a unique story for the future.
So how are we now? We’re free. We’re not healed completely, but we’re free. All of us are free, even though we’re clearly not yet integrated (having no idea when that might happen). In this blog we want to explain what i
t means to be free and how to get free. It’s actually a miracle, or more correctly a huge number of miracles. It requires the love and supernatural power of Jesus Christ.
The point is life can be wonderful now. You don’t have to be completely healed. God loves you so much……..He loves each part of you so much……..He will separate you from realms of darkness that you instinctively know and yet can’t comprehend. We are not a professional therapist, and we’re certainly not here to offer professional counseling. We ARE here to love you, to walk with you, to share what we know and have experienced, to encourage you to share what you know and have experienced, but most of all we’re here to pray for you. Even if you never join this website, if you’ve touched it, we are praying for you. God’s love is reaching out to you. Believe it.
Let’s Talk More about Freedom
As explained in About this Website, my healing has been supernatural. I respect all of the secular healing strategies and in no way diminish their value. But Satanism, Luciferianism, and the related technologies used by government programmers ALWAYS involves the demonic. Again check the tab About this Website to see a more full discussion on this. My journey began and will end in the hands of Jesus Christ. My life is a testimony to the love and grace God has for ALL His children, including those who have received and/or perpetrated the greatest of evils. Each and every day I receive more light, more truth, more understanding of how my path and the path of all of us fits into the great cosmic plan. What I’ve learned is that God is an amazing Father, unlike any human father one could imagine. His patience is endless. His love is boundless. He is the sum of everything. He is love. He is goodness. Jesus is a man who is alive. He is more powerful than any supernatural or material element because He, in fact, created them all. He sacrificed His life, taking upon Himself ALL of the sins ever committed by man in the past, present and future when He hung on a Roman cross 2000 years ago. He died, completing the task of reconciling us sinful people with a perfect God. God sent His only Son because He loved us so much. That’s not the end. By His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, God raised Him from the dead, being the first fruit of the defeat of Satan and Death. All who believe and accept His gracious offer of salvation receive the same Holy Spirit. Oh I can’t imagine going through healing from all of this without Holy Spirit being there to comfort, guide, and protect us. With Holy Spirit inside, we too are members of God’s Kingdom, on earth and for all eternity. There is so much more. In my healing there have been thousands of miracles. Without God’s hand, we would be dead. It still amazes us sometimes that we’re not physically dead. Yet each and every day we awaken to walk again with our best friend, Jesus. We talk all the time. We bask in His love. He is healing us.
So above all things we are in love with Jesus. God is our Father. Miracles happen by Holy Spirit. We can’t explain any of it. It’s supernatural. It’s FREEDOM even though we still are not completely healed. We will be. It’s His promise. He holds that promise for all of us. It’s Truth.
Update June, 2019
Hello again. It’s now 2019. Three years have passed since I posted the above. A lot has happened. Most importantly, I’m now ONE. All of my Alter Identities and Primary Identities (see What does it Mean to be a Personality for definitions) came together in various stages until the final integration (reuniting of parts) a few months ago. It’s an amazing, new life – so different from anything I’ve ever experienced. I’d like to say that I’m “whole”, but I want to reserve that term for another level of healing. To be “whole” I think one must be fully accepting of the past, able to handle all of normal life as a single personality, and comfortable with self as a Child of God in all that that means. Right now, being Me is pretty novel. Jesus Christ wants everyone to be WHOLE. Just as innumerable miracles of healing led me to this current state, I know that being whole in HIM will increase each and every day. Through all the pain – yes agony – of the journey to healing, God has been and is faithful to complete what He started.
The Bible says that when we accept Christ as our Savior, we become a new creation. Many decades ago some part of me took that step, and by faith we were forgiven of our sins, Holy Spirit came to live inside us, and we were transferred “technically” from the Kingdom of Darkness into the Kingdom of Light. Yes, parts were still actively being tortured and used by the government and the cult. Various Primary Identities were still following the satanic agenda. Yet, God knew that we were His, by our own choice.
Now I am a different type of new creation. I am ME. I am the person God thought of before the world was even created. I am that Original Self, saved from destruction by the blessing of dissociation through decades of torture and mind control. Through extreme perseverance and God’s unending Grace, thousands of parts in numerous subsystems have been healed by Jesus, deprogrammed by Jesus, and loved by Jesus, making it safe for all to return to me – a me who consciously never knew them until they were revealed in the process of healing.
I want this to be an encouragement to all survivors. God CAN and WILL heal you, if you seek Him. Yes, I needed Him, AND I needed a counselor. In no way do I minimize the value of a God-fearing counselor or prayer minister. The more whole I become, the more I know God’s heart. God’s heart is to heal all who are broken. Be encouraged. God wants you healed.
If you want to contact me, please go to the Contact Me tab.